melting snow?

Albert Camus said, "In the midst of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." I love that. Why, I'm not really sure, but I do. What does it really mean, though? I mean what "winter" is there right now? It's hot as hades outside at the moment - 102 degrees. Amy says it's global warming, which I agree with. In response to my question, "Are we going to die because of it?" she said, "Well, we won't. But our children or grandchildren will." Well, that's pretty sad - perhaps that's a "winter" of the moment. Ironic, too, considering it's talking about warming. But it's bleak, lifeless, dead...much like winter there. Death - now, there's a true "winter." That's why I'm where I am at the moment - Greeneville, East Tennessee, for Aunt Betty's funeral. Now, ther's a "winter" if I ever saw one.

And another winter is this war going on - it makes me so sad. I know God's doing what he can, but seriously, why can't there be peace in the world? What's so hard about shaking hands and just agreeing to disagree? Well, obviously there's far more to it than I understand...I guess some winters will never end. Or maybe it's just taking a long time for the snow to melt. And maybe it's our job to do it. Maybe, since there is an invincible summer in me, and in you - ah, yes, perhaps that is where the hope lies. As they say, we must be the change we wish to see in the world...and perhaps that's where God comes in. As Greg Boyd writes, "Christ isn't our adversary in times of struggle - He's our cure." Our cure to the cold, the bleak, the sick, the hungry, the war-stricken, the dead...maybe He helps us discover our summer, and it's our job to melt the snow? After all...

"With God, all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

(written on 8/11/06)

oh, the joys of writing

...so I was out by my pool today, fishing out some leaves with the leaf net (I don't really know what it's called), and I thought to myself, "Hmm. I should blog." So, here I am, blogging. It's been a while, huh?

Some thoughts I've discovered from my journals the past few days...

May 19th, 2006
"I've had so many thoughts in the past month that it's extremely difficult for me to even decide what to write down. However, I feel as if I constantly have more thoughts than can possibly be written down on a piece of paper, so I suppose I'll always have this dilemma. Well, we're on the way to Memphis to take Amy to the airport to leave for Europe, for 3 months. Three whole months - wow. And it's finally summer. Summer? Seriously? That means I'm a sophomore in college. A sophomore in college? What? Wasn't I just a sophomore in high school last week? What happened?

Time happened. As Mark says, 'Time can be our greatest ally, because it fixes almost everything, but it can also be our greatest enemy, because we never have time do to all that we want to do...'"

March 20th, 2006
"I will be who I am, and simply that. Because it's enough. It's always been enough, and it will always be enough, even if I don't think it is. It is so good to know God loves me just as I am...I don't have to do, be, or become anything else. I don't have to be prettier, skinnier, quieter, funnier...can't you see? I am pretty enough, skinny enough, quiet enough, funny enough, and loved - enough."

...and I've started another book. Here's a couple of paragraphs from it...
"Helping people - now there's a thought. Perhaps it really doesn't matter if I amount to anything in this life; perhaps it's all of what I help others amount to that is important. And at this point in my life, the only way I know how to help others is to share what I've been through. Yes, I often feel very insignificant, but maybe you do too. At least we can feel insignificant together.

So here it is - my story. I'm sharing to help. I'm not really sure whom I'm going to help or how it's going to happen, but hopefully it will happen, in some way, somehow. I'm not anything special. In fact, I really don't think I'm anyone at all. But maybe you don't think you're anyone either. So we'll be no one together.

I suppose I should start from the beginning..."

Oh, how I love to write. How I would love to make a profession out of it...but we'll see. But how good it is to be back :).

Valentine's what? Valentine's SUCKS.

Yes, that's right, I said it - Valentine's Day is DUMB. It should be entitled "Let's Make Singles Feel Bad Day," because, the way I see it, if you do have a significant other in your life, they should be treating you like it's Valentine's 365 days a year, not just one. It's a dumb marketing ploy that the stores came up with just so they could have one more reason to sell a card. You know what I think it is? SICK. And you know what else is sick? Here at good ol' UU, I'm sure some of you know that we have certain hours on the weekends that guys can come in our dorms and we can go in theirs...but they made TODAY be open dorms from 1-8 just because it's stupid Valentine's Day. Can I throw up now? Please? And after that I'll treat myself to a whole box of expensive chocolate, buy myself a diamond necklace, and toast a glass of chapagne to...nothing. Yes, that's right - here's to you, Cupid, for ruining my life. Thanks a lot; it's been really great. Not.

I heard some single friends of mine talking in one of my classes today, and one of them said, "You know, I mean, Valentine's Day isn't that bad! I don't love it, but it's not like I hate it..." and I turned around and said, "You know what? No! Valentine's Day SUCKS." Seriously, most days I'm completely fine with being single, but do we really have to declare a national holiday where we all point and laugh at those members of the population who just happen to be lucky enough to be alone on the biggest day for couples of the entire year? Honestly. That's exactly what I am - honest. I wouldn't describe me as bitter, just honest. I'm not going to sit back and pretend that Valentine's Day doesn't suck for single people, because it does. Don't deny it - it really does.

On a more positive note, Variety Show is this weekend, and I'm really excited...actually, just excited that it's going to be over. I know that sounds really bitter too, but I've been SO busy, and I just want some time to rest. I suppose my focus has just been so off...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Jesus. (Matthew 11:28)

Yeah, that's better.

Am I living it right?

Some song lyrics that have reminded me of the last few days...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall - have I got it?
'Cause mirror, you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect..." -Barlowgirl

"I am driving 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
Just stuck inside the gloom.
Four more exits to my apartment but I am tempted
To keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind.
'Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome
Of a still verdictless life..." -John Mayer

You know those days? We all have them. No, no, not the days where we get that job, have that great date, accomplish a goal - not those days. THESE days. The not-so-terrific, what's-wrong-with-my-life days. "Oh yes," you're thinking, "those days." Go ahead, let out a long sigh even thinking about them - I know I do. I feel as if I've had so many of them lately. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me, but then I just shrug it off as another one of those days.

Or is it?

"I heard that you were living well
But you don't look like you're living to me
Though the sparkle is gone
Your smile is in place
So that everyone watching can see
You've got them all convinced...
You've got everyone convinced that you're alright." -Dashboard

"So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me, don't believe me
When I say I've got it down..."

Sometimes I'm amazed at myself. Amazed in the "what's going on with this?" way, not the "wow, cool!" way. Amazed at the fact that I'd probably give a whole lot in my life to be considered talented, beautiful, and popular. What's wrong with our society these days? It's so awful that I think I'd actually choose for people to look at me and think, "She's so thin - she must have an eating disorder or something," than to think I look normal. (Granted, I definitely am not skinny enough for people to think that, but that's beyond ok.) I mean, really - and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. So many people do...what's wrong with us? Why can't we ever have, or just be, enough? Some days it's so hard to even remember why we're here enough to want to carry on at all.

"'Looks like I've lost my will to carry on, my friend,' she said
And you can hear it in my whispered cries for love...
Run away, run away tonight
It ain't no victory, but I don't care,
I don't care if it's wrong or right...
I don't care..." -Live with Shelby Lynne

"I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone..."

Will there ever be an answer?

Some days I don't think so...but guess what? Me thinking there's not an answer definitely doesn't mean there isn't one - because there is. I was reading Joel yesterday morning, and I found something that gives me so much hope.

"Surely he has done great things.
Be not afraid, O land;
be glad and rejoice.
Surely the Lord has done great things
Be not afraid, O wild animals,
for the open pastures are becoming green.
The trees are bearing their fruit;
the fig tree and the vine yield their riches.
Be glad, O people of Zion,
rejoice in the Lord your God,
for he has given you
the autumn rains in righteousness.
He sends you abundant showers,
both autumn and spring rains, as before." -Joel 2:20-23

So my first reaction to this was - ok, God, yeah, nice showers, rains - I see the refreshing imagery here. But where is it in my life? I'm not as talented as him, as pretty as her, as skinny as her, as nice as him - why do I get the short end of the stick?

Boy, how much more selfish can I be?

So then I started thinking...perhaps these showers, these rains...perhaps they aren't about me. Perhaps LIFE isn't about me. Perhaps the world revolves around something far more important - you know, like GOD...oops.

And I gradually realized...I have my devoted family. I have my wonderful friends. I have my practically flawless health. I have clothes, shelter, education, food - and I'm complaining?

As Max Ehrmann says in his famous Desiderata, "Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Maybe next time I'll look more carefully at the showers in my life and try not to live with such a dirty outlook on things. It's probably much more sanitary to the mind... :). I'll definitely try harder to live with the autumn rains than the winter cold. And the best thing is that when life's about God, I sure am so much happier. As they say...

"Mirror, I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him, I have beauty beyond compare
I know he defines me."

But sometimes, still, I wonder...

"Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why, Georgia, why?..."

Sorry this post was so long, friends, but perhaps it made you think.

curbside laughter, waiting for my deliverance to come.

Well, then you're never gonna guess
Where I've been, been, been
And I have no regrets...

So I have a few funny scenarios to share here. These are all the funniest moments of January I can think of...
Scenario 1:
Scene - Amanda, Melton, Merry, and I are watching the Miss America Pageant.
Amanda: Aww, her dad is Asian! She must be adopted!
Melton: Amanda, she IS Asian.
Scenario 2:
Scene - We're in Coach T's Fitness for Health Class, and class has obviously started.
Me: Amanda, get off your phone! (no response, so louder..) Amanda, hang up the phone!
Amanda: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Hey, can I call you back? We're starting class...
Scenario 3:
Scene - We're in Wal-Mart really late at night, and there's a guy buying ONLY a box of condoms in front of us in line. Amanda and Melton see him and notice his awkard purchase, but of course, as always, I have no idea what's going on. There's some problem with his good ol' box of contraceptives and it takes the lady forever to figure it out. He then looks to us and says...
Random man: Man, you could buy a car faster than this.
Me: Yep, you sure could! It's ok, we've all been there!
Oh, I'm so naive.
Scenario 4:
Scene - We're driving around Memphis, and get TOTALLY lost, in the GHETTO. Amanda has some spare VCRs in her back seat. After driving by a crack house, we see a Pawn Shop. Before Merry, Melton, and I knew it, we had succumbed to Amanda's idea and were definitely pawning a VCR, which did end up getting Amanda $15. My sister's comment on the situation...
Amy: Rachael, that doesn't happen to normal people!
And yes, she's absolutely right.
Scenario 5:
Scene - Eating a nice Sunday lunch at Cracker Barrell. Our waitress is quite possibly the cutest old woman EVER - we even fondly name her "Grandma Mary." Amanda's drawing a picture of the way these two girls were SITTING (because it was extremely weird) on a napkin, but the picture DEFINITELY looked like something wayyy dirtier than that, if you can use your own imagination. Then, much to our surprise, Sweet Grandma Mary sneaks up behind Amanda, and with a pitcher of water hovering over our heads, kindly says...
Grandma Mary: Whatcha drawin', dear?
Oh, the embarassment.
And oh, the fun. I hope these times gave you all just a few laughs, and a little insight to all the laughs this January has held...Laughter is, after all, the heart's medicine. But for now, my brain definitely needs the medicine of sleep, so goodnight all :).

Oh, P.S., here's something I was told by my dear friend Kelley today, which I think is definitely worth sharing.
Fanci223: its so comforting. like, we're all human...ya know ?
Fanci223: and we have rough patches
Fanci223: but it always goes back to the good stuff.
"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that...what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance." -Philippians 1:18-19

Hey, hey, something's different in my world today
Well, they changed my traffic signs to a brighter yellow...
I'm just a curbside prophet
With my hand in my pocket
And I'm waiting for my rocket to come...

Trying so hard to not be easily satisfied...

So my lack of posting has been beyond outrageous; I will not even start to pretend it hasn't. Therefore, I'm sure that it's quite possible that Bethany is the only one who even attempts to check around here anymore, but that's ok, because I'll make it a late New Year's resolution to post more...I know, I always say it, but hopefully I'll actually be able to follow through with it this time - as always, only time will tell. However, I've just been summoned by my lovely roommate to go to Wal-Mart in a few minutes, so this post will be brief; alas, the moment I sit down I have to get up again. That is the college life though, isn't it? I'll just hit a few highlights that have been happening lately...

Union in January is AMAZING. Seriously, it's been the time of my life. It's been so much guiltless fun because I've only had one class...Foundations of American Education. I've changed my major to Learning Foundations with a minor in Professional Education and an endorsement in K-6. I've also considered an additional minor/endorsement in English, or some type of deaf education. It'll be such an adventure to find out where God's going to take me! I'm observing in a fourth grade classroom, which has been tons of fun. Getting hit on by a fourth grade boy was definitely a highlight of January, along with numerous other things that really can't be published on here at the moment. Haha, nothing bad at all of course...just some interesting relationship development as well as a few secret new spots Amanda and I have discovered. If you ask me personally, I'd probably be more than glad to share - you'll just have to take the time to ask :).

I can't believe January's already almost over, and we're about to move on to a new semester. We've had so many good times...I'm so glad Amanda and I have gotten to practically live with Rachel Melton this month - she's quite possibly the coolest person I've ever met. We've had so many fun trips to church, Memphis, Savannah, Cracker Barrell, and other various places; I don't want it to be over. However, I'm very excited about not having to dress up every day and just wear sweat pants around campus, because I've definitely had to be constantly dressed up for observation...I love it, but it's just hard during January, especially when EVERYONE else on campus looks disgusting, and it's so cold outside.

There have also been several new music discoveries - Stephen Speaks and Jason Mraz are DEFINITELY my two new favorites. They're both incredible...thank you Amanda and Melton and Joel Polk. And guess what? Derek Webb is coming for Union's homecoming! I can't wait! Wedding Dress is definitely one of my (and everyone else's I'm sure) favorite songs...

If you could love me as a wife
And for my wedding gift, your life
Should be all that I'll ever need
Or is there more I'm looking for
And should I read between the lines
And look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that what you really want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
And I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
But I put you on just like a ring of gold
And I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side
I am so easily satisfied
By the call of lovers less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood...

Because money cannot buy
A husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife...

Yes, I am so easily satisfied so many times. Well, I'll leave you all to ponder that while I go to Wal-Mart. Who knows when I'll be back...life is always an adventure here these days, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Artist of my Soul

There are days when I feel like I've finally figured out so much about life. There's a whole lot I definitely do not understand, but then again, there's a lot I do. I don't even have words to explain it...well, I'm not making any sense, really, so I suppose I'll just stop typing about that. Anyway, I'm so happy I came to college at Union. I suppose that's just really what's on my heart right now. I have the most wonderful friends, and I honestly don't know what I would do without Claire in my life. She has more wisdom and knowledge than I sometimes think I'll ever attain...it's so encouraging. And being around all these Christian people? I'm amazed. Seriously, I'm constantly, breath-takingly amazed. I don't even want to think where I'd be if I weren't here, but I'm glad I don't have to think about it. Because, after all, all we have is the here and now, right? Right. I'm reading Harry Potter 5, and it's phenomenal. I'm also about to be reading Captivating during my quiet times (courtesy of Claire) and we'll see how that goes. I'm also going to buy He's Just Not That Into You ASAP because I want to read it, too! And I want to write in my two journals every day...I want to appreciate life for all it's worth. As the quote goes..."Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself" (Henry Miller). I'll leave with the lyrics to one of my new favorite songs...

Oh Lord of light, of form and hue
Who has created all things new
Create in me, from shapeless clay
An instrument on which you play.

God of the dance that planets tread
Who walks beside and soars ahead
Oh let me move to worship Thee
Come, Holy Spirit, dance with me.

God of the Living Word, Poet of Time
Teach me Your words in Your cadence and rhyme
O Lord of beauty, Lord of art
Who gives a song for every heart
Carve out my life, reshape and mold
And be the artist of my soul.

I'm So Thankful

"She lit a candle in a downtown cathedral, quietly confessing, counting on a blessing; she looked as if she had nowhere to go. I could see her weeping, hands together, hoping You would hear. This is the time of year, we hold our families near; but God, let us be a friend to the hurting. Oh, Emmanuel, God with us, Spirit revealed in us, that we may be Your Hope to the world. Oh, Emmanuel, God with us, with a light to break the darkness, that we may show Your Hope to the world, oh Emmanuel, God with us...I moved in closer just so I could see her face - maybe she was a mother, someone's only daughter; her silver hair shimmered like the snow. Christmas bells were ringing, now beside her, kneeling, I asked her name. She said, this was the time of year I had my family near, but they've all gone and I have been so lonely...So with my family that Christmas day, a girl of sixty years would laugh and play. And as we watched her dance, our eyes were full of tears..."

There are many things I don't understand about life. One of them would have to be why I have an amazing family, and other people don't get to have one. It isn't fair! But I know that no matter what happens in my life, they will be there, keeping me safe and holding me up. Tomorrow's the official beginning of all the holiday festivities, and I know I will arrive home to a mother who looks just like me, makes the best vegetable soup in the world, has Total cereal every single morning of her life, reads her Bible daily, and prays for me more than anyone; a father who loves country music, believes in family more fiercly than anyone I know, is a champion at quoting movies, and loves me so much that half the time he doesn't even know what to do with it; and a sister who will listen to me at all hours of the day, loves to dance, is one of the smartest people I know, is so talented that I've been jealous my whole life, makes me feel like I'm worth something, and has been my role-model every single step of life. I know these things won't last forever...as the leaves on the trees change colors and fall off, we all run our course in life, and when our season is over, we die. We lose those that are close to us, and life is never the same.

However, for now I have such a wonderful life, it's hard to even find words. Yes, there are things I want that I don't have, but they're all things that hardly matter when I start to think about it. I'd much rather have my family and my friends than anything else in the world. I'm so grateful; as Mother Theresa once said, "Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not yet come. All we have is today: let us begin."

There is a whole lot I don't know about life. I don't know who I will marry, where I will live, what my occupation will be, or how many children I will have...but I've come to terms with it. For once in my life, I've realized that it's ok not to know, because God knows. However, I do know that God has given me what I have right now, and I should live in it, because truly - it's all I have. The riches of this world are far greater than I could ever realize; there are so many things I won't appreciate until they are gone. Yes, I know that Heaven's riches are greater, which makes it even harder to imagine. If we just step back and look at everything God has blessed us with...life is wonderful. I'm so happy I'm content where I am. I'm so happy that in life, I've finally realized...God is enough.

Random Thoughts

You know, sometimes I wonder just how fast time goes by. I'm really not sure...we have this thing here at Union that we call the "Union Time Continuum." (Who knew continuum was spelled like that? I sure didn't - definitely had to look that bad boy up.) My friend Molly and I have come to the conclusion that the reason that a month can feel like a day or an hour can feel like a year here at Union is because we NEVER leave. We eat here, we sleep here, we go to meetings here, we check our mail here, we hang out here, we do EVERYTHING here. So it's like just this big time vacuum...because it's like you can't ever get any rest and the days are YEARS long because you can never get away, but at the same time, time can go by so fast because all the days seem the same. Molly and I then proceeded to make analogies for the entire campus to a literal house...like the cafeteria is the kitchen, and the dorms are the bedrooms, and the commons are the play/rec/hang-out rooms, and Jennings (our really nice building) is the parlor, and the PAC is the basement, and the professors are your parents and their really annoying friends...well, ok, you had to be there, but it was fun.

I spent HOURS cleaning my room this weekend. It was really great not to have anything to do, but I REALLY missed Amanda...she and Molly went to Louisville. I was supposed to go, but I really needed to get some stuff done. Sometimes I don't know WHAT I'd do without those two, though. I LOVE Amanda. She's really one of the best friends I've ever had...she's definitely made the wedding list, hands down :). I really don't know what I'd do without her...I know I already said that, but I really don't.

It's almost Christmas! And I'm SO EXCITED about it! Ahh...the lights, family, presents, apple cider, family, friends, parties, family, carols, family...oh, did I mention family? Because I really love mine :).

I heard a sermon tonight at church about being a "virtuous woman" like in Proverbs 31. That's my desire in life...I wonder if I'm doing an ok job at fulfilling it? We'll see...I really want an amazing family in the future. I know that God has an amazing one in store for me somewhere out there. But for now, it's time for bed because I can barely keep my eyes open. Holler back kiddos! :)

P.S. It's definitely my new goal to write on here WAY more often, just FYI.

No Excuse

There is absolutely no excuse - my deepest apologies to all of you regular readers out there, if there are any left. Probably not, because it's been SO long...and I honestly have hardly any time to type. I have a HUGE paper due at the end of the week, along with a HUUUGE beyond huge Intro to Bible Study project to work on...it's going to be INSANE. I've been in the library for SO long today; it was absolutely rediculous. Other than being snowballed with schoolwork, I'm having an incredible time at school! I'm loving every minute, even though some are harder than others. I have an AMAZING Chi Omega big sister, Amanda, and our next party is coming up soon! It's Halloween themed, which should be really interesting. I'm not too sure what exactly I'm going as yet, but Stephen (my date) and Josh (Amanda's date) seem to be coming up with a plan for us four and Andrew and Molly to all dress up together...I'll let you all know how it turns out. Other than that, I took a fall break trip to help out with hurricane disaster relief last week, which was incredible! It was really tiring and eye-opening, but I'm so glad I went. Amanda, Shaundra, and the rest of the members of the Party Van (1-4!) definitely made the 7 hour ride down there a blast. Well, I think I'm signing off for now; I have biology work that needs to be done. I'll be sure to update WAY sooner than a month next time...although it IS fun to come back and have 18 comments - woo hoo! Haha, except they ALL say, "Rachael, time to update," or, "Update, update, update!" or "This is ridiculous," or "Are you even still alive...?"

Nascar Party + Spandex Suit = Fun

First of all, I want to point out the fact that it's 2:00 am, so this entry won't be long at all. Second of all, I just wanted to share with all of you the excitement of what happened tonight...tonight was, drumroll please, the very first Chi Omega party of the year (and my first Chi Omega party of my LIFE!) Clarification - we definitely haven't been partying until 2:00 am; we've been at Perkins, because it never closes. Anyway, the point of the story has to do with the theme of the party: NASCAR. Daytona 500, to be exact. We rode go-carts, which was extremely fun, then came back to the house and danced the night away...but I'm typing this entire entry to tell you all what I wore - to fit in with the party theme, I wore a racing suit. (a ONESIE racing suit - not two pieces, it was all together now. Visuialize it...) This was not just any racing suit, mind you, this was a racing suit that was meant for a 12-year-old boy...and I am an 18-year old girl. Needless to say, what were supposed to be long sleeves now became 3/4, and what were supposed to be pants were definitely capris. The outfit was red and purple with "Motocross Racing" printed across the top...yes, I know the party was CAR racing and not MOTORCYLE racing, but when I saw that costume in the aisle at good ol' beloved Wally World, I thought to myself, "I'm in love with this outfit; I WILL make this work!" And I did, even though I had to cut the costume in some pretty interesting places because it was not meant to fit someone my size. I wore purple shorts over it because the outfit definitely resembled some sort of spandex-like material because it was so small. The outfit was completed by shin-guards (not sure what they were there for, they were just in the package), tennis shoes, and, the best element - the plastic helmet. My personal favorite comment of the night was, "I love how you lift the helmet to talk and then put it back down to listen." I danced the night away doing all kinds of car-racing moves...steering the wheel, honking the horn, waving out the window, etc.

This entry wouldn't be complete without the mentioning of the other members of my ensemble; I attended this party with three of my best girlfriends - Kelsey, Jesse, and Whitney. Kelsey wore a shirt that said "Spare" on it and wore a HUGE blow-up tire around her waist; Jesse painted a shirt gold and put "Nascar Trophy" on it; and Whitney had a black shirt that said "You Won!" written on it, with a flag coming down from her arm. So, as the night went on, we described ourselves as..."I (the racecar driver) Won (whitney) the trophy (Jesse) using the spare tire (Kelsey). We were quite the hit of the party...I'd say we were the best dressed there. I'll try to put up some pictures if I can soon. It was all good times...now it's time for bed. Goodnight everyone!

An Update Way Overdue

Bethany's completely right - It's way past time for an update. So much has been going on that I hardly even know where to begin. I suppose I left off last time during the middle of Rush week...wow, has it really been that long? Well, for those of you who don't already know, last Saturday I joined CHI OMEGA here at union, and I'm LOVING it. I seriously prayed more about my sorority decision than I did my college decision - and it's definitely paid off. I'm so happy, and I know it's where I'm supposed to be. Since then, I've been hanging out a lot with my new sisters and having a blast. If I were at a state school I don't think I could do a sorority - there's too much stuff I don't agree with. Nothing against state schools at ALL - I personally just wouldn't be strong enough to handle it. Here at Union, however, the girls in all the sororities are great girls who are driven, educated, and, most importantly, wonderful women of God. They all make me want to be a better person! It's so much more than just a social group. I'm praying that I get the most out of my time here at college, and that my sorority will only enhance the wonderful opportunities I've been provided with already, much less the ones yet to come. I'm loving college - it's WONDERFUL!

Will pledged Lambda Chi Alpha just this Friday, and he's having a blast with that. Their first party was last night, and it was Caddy Shack themed, like the movie. We went out to eat with a bunch of our friends, then hit the driving range for a few hours. I've never hit a golf ball in my LIFE - and I almost didn't last night either. How pitiful is this - they had to put out 9 BALLS so I could hit ONE of them. It gave for some great laughs, though, which is the only thing that matters. I had such a great time, and I'm pretty sure everyone else did too.

I'm definitely learning how hard it is to focus spiritually here at college. So much is going on all the time, and the work load is so great, I feel like I never find enough time to spend with my Heavenly Home Boy. Maybe that's the problem - I should stop trying to FIND time to spend with him, and start trying to MAKE time to spend with him. He did, after all, create me, and loves me more than anyone else ever will. That's so hard to fathom...God is so great. I'll end with some lyrics to one of my new favorite songs by Shane and Shane...Beauty for Ashes.

Beauty for ashes
A garment of praise for my heaviness
Beauty for ashes
Take this heart of stone and make it Yours, Yours

I delight myself in the Richest of Fair
Trading all that I've had for all that is better
A garment of praise for my heaviness
You are the greatest taste
You're the Richest of Fair...

Only HE can make beauty out of your ashes. We must trade ALL we have - give God your heart. He's dying for it...literally.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him...I want to know Christ..." -Philippians 3:7-10
"Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self." -Matthew 16:25

Finding a Foundation

Hello one and everyone! I have a break for approximately 30 minutes, so I figured I'd blog it up a little bit! Woo hoo! Today marked the official start of RUSH WEEK here at Union University, and I'm SO excited! I won't reveal what sorority I would love to be in just yet; you'll all know on Saturday what happens! Union has 3 sororities: Zeta Tau Alpha, Kappa Delta, and Chi Omega. Union also has 3 fraternities: Lambda Chi, Alpha Tau Omega, and Sigma Alpha Epsilon. Fun stuff! I'm loving Rush so far - it's been so much fun!

I can't even begin to describe what else has been going on around here. It's been so busy! I suppose that's how college is supposed to be. I'm having the time of my life though! My roommates are just phenomenal, along with all my other friends. I've been attending Englewood Baptist Church (they think they're turning me Baptist, but they're not ;) haha) and I love it. I've still got to try out some other churches though, and make sure that's where I want to be. Classes are going really well; college is a lot harder than high school. I'm loving it though - I learn so much! It's funny how every day here seems like a week long. I know that I've only been here for 2.5 weeks, but it seriously feels like I've been here a year, in a good way! And every night feels like a weekend night too! Woo hoooo! :) Haha.

I love where I chose to go to school - I wouldn't be anywhere else. Ellen and I really like this new Krystal Meyers CD (even though we get in trouble for blaring it too loudly all the time, haha), and it has a song on it called "Fall to Pieces" which is AWESOME, so I thought I'd share the lyrics with you all. Here goes...

All the twisted lies and
All the empty promises that let me down
All this time I've compromised
And tried to find the easy way out
I'm letting go of all I know
I never thought I'd say
"There's gotta be a better way"

When everything around me
Falls to pieces
I've got something more in my life
When I'm broken I see
Only you complete me
Yeah, without you by my side
I fall to pieces every time

All my hopes and dreams and
All my selfish plans that crumble in my hands
Made me realize I've gotta trust in something
Bigger than I am
I'm standing strong when all goes wrong
It's gonna be ok
I've finally found a better way...

Sometimes God has to break us down so that we realize that HE is the ONLY thing that can complete us. So when everything in your life falls to pieces, remember that God is bigger than you are, and he has a plan! "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). As the lovely Kelley Nicole Grosskopf always says, "Through stuggle, we grow." It's true. I'm realizing that college is the time in my life that will shape who I am forever. I'm so excited to grow so much through the next 4 years, and I'm so happy that, in my life, I have the foundation of a Father who loves me enough to die for me. He can be your foundation too...just let him into your life.

P.S. Check out the new link to Ben's blog - pretty fun stuff! :)

Just a Small Update

Hellooooo world!!! Here I am at my fantabulous desk on the campus of UNION UNIVERSITY! It has been oh-so-long, and oh-so-much has happened! I must say that I'm OBSESSED with college - I LOVE it. The Christian atmosphere at Union is just what I wanted in a college and I can honestly say I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. I'm so happy with my college decision - I've never been this happy in my life! Seriously, I have definitely learned that college IS the time of your life - it's wonderful. I have the most wonderful roommates/friends, and the most wonderful classes. They're hard, no doubt, but I love how a Christian influence is put into all of them. I've been so busy hanging out with all my friends, doing schoolwork, and attending different meetings/events that I honestly have not had time to blog. It's also 12:30 at night at the moment and I have an 8:00 class tomorrow (I have an 8:00 EVERY day, unfortunately), so I probably won't be able to write much on this entry either; it's more of just letting you all know I'm alive.

It's definitely a challenge to make time for God here at college, though. Especially because it's a Christian university, people (including myself) often use that as an easy way out to become complacent in your own personal walk with the Lord. So I'm struggling with that at the moment, but I'm still trying my hardest to adjust to the new lifestyle and everything. Rush is next week and I can't wait! I'm also dating an amazing boy named Will, and I couldn't be happier about that. Everyone is so wonderful and nice here - it's phenomenal!

One last thing - we just got another roommate here because of the hurricane; she's from Mississippi and has lost almost everything. Please pray for her and all the other hurricane victims...as hard as it is to believe, God DOES always have a plan. Well, I still have some studying to do before tomorrow, and I'm getting up around 6:00, so I'm out for tonight. Thanks to everyone who commented on that other entry; I think that if I DON'T blog, I get more comments than when I DO! Haha, anyway, holler back! :)